Melinda (eternallynumb) wrote in roleplayers,

Credit for this has to go to labile... it came from her site... heh.

Various Rules for RolePlay

Hair comes in vast amounts and in an odd color which seems to float in the air rather than lay flat as Gravity demands.

Nobody ever uses the door. Ever.

If they use the door, it usually involves ripping it off the hinges, bashing into it, or some other process that takes at least nine steps and seems unnecessarily complicated.

All men are at least six feet tall, and, when provoked to do so, could easily rip through a structurally sound brick wall.

All women have long hair that plays just right about their faces, ample breasts, tight or hanging clothing, and an irresistible smile, whether they want to or not.

"So you're all in a bar..."

Beware of children. Most of them are at least two hundred years old.

Beware of adults. Most of them are older.

While exploring, NEVER wander off by yourself. You will always get teleported, kidnapped, slaughtered, ambushed, assassinated, etc, etc...

A mute or otherwise talking-impaired creature can always communicate telepathically.

When at a place quite literally named "Suicide Cliffs," nobody will ever truly die. They will get saved at the last second, talked from jumping at all, or will simply land at the bottom and continue walking.

Every tavern, no matter HOW crowded, will always have one empty table apart from everybody else in a dark, secluded corner.

All newcomers are magnetically attracted to this table.

Once the newcomer sits at that table, a new empty table appears, in a new dark, secluded corner, to which the next newcomer will be instantly attracted.

No matter what you order, the bartender will always have two bottles left of it.

If a female plays a male character, expect it to be beautiful, mysterious, and bi/homo-sexual.

Any character the player bothers describing as "looks 18" is more likely over two hundred.

You can easily identify new players in the story by the distinct "PC" tatooed on their forehead for at least the first hour.

Many women are not really women.

Women who have ample breasts, skin-tight clothing, voluptuous curves, and pretty much anything else that belong to the stereotypical male fantasy...are usually men.

Women are more likely to have weapons, armor, equipment, and favors over men... which could be why men choose to play women characters. That or they just want to fulfill their lesbian fantasies.

If a man plays a girl, expect her to be a lesbian.

In the middle of the not very packed dance floor, expect a lesbian floor show.

When playing with werewolves, expect them to shift to Crinos. No matter how many mortals are around.

The aforementioned mortals will not notice.

No matter how small the room is, half the people will be in the rafters.

If a character is female, beautiful, and has long, flowing hair, she is either a vampire or a demon.

All vampires are kind, tortured souls angst-ridden over their need for fresh blood and desperately trying to make up for sins of the past.

A good portion of those will be creatively named "Angel."
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