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Wednesday, December 14th, 2005
6:24p - D&D Christmas Carol
Hey everyone, Long time lurker first time poster. I ran into this along time ago back in the dark ages of the Net and A friend of mine asked me if I would type this up and post in on my LJ. I have never seen it since I first found it and it lives on only because I have committed it to memory. If anyone knows the original author let me know so I can give credit where credit is due becuase this thing is great.

The D&D Christmas Carol (to the tune of Jingle Bells)

Slashing through the Orcs, with a good two-handed blade,
Over the corpses we go, and through the gore we wade.
Mace on helmet ring, making bodies fly,
What fun to sing our slaying song and watch these suckers DIE.

Chorus
Oh ring their bells with sword and spells, don’t let them get away,
We’re brave & bold for fame & gold, we’ll make a lot today, Hay
Ring their bells with swords and spells don’t let them get away,
We’ll hack & slash and blast & trash and drag our loot away.

Crashing through the door, into the dragon’s nose,
Our mage whips out a cone of cold, and out his fire goes.
Elven bowstrings sing, making balrogs fall,
Our thief finds us a secret door into the treasure hall.

Chorus

Then appears the Lich, with his demon guard,
Our Mage just yawns and wishes, we’d run into something hard.
He begins to cast, his nineteenth level spell,
But that damn Lich threw a gate at us, and dropped us into Hell.

Chorus

We appear in Hell, in front of Satan’s throne,
Our cleric waves us out the door, and takes him on alone.
Satan’s legions don’t, want to let us go,
So our techno pulls his Bazooka out, and nukes them till they glow!

Oh ring their bells with prayers and spells, don’t let them get away,
We’re brave & bold and crazed were told, to think we’ll live today, Hay
Ring their bells with swords and shells don’t let them get away,
We’ll hack & slash and blast & trash and blow these dudes away.

End Transmission

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