TOP 35 SIMILARITIES BETWEEN GAMING AND PORN
1. The typical customer is male, unattractive, and socially handicapped
2. Both are frequently enjoyed in dark basements
3. The size of your collection is obscene
4. It's not a good idea to talk about either on a first date
5. Both revolve around fantasy and obtaining the unobtainable
6. The artwork depicts images impossible in the real world
7. When purchasing either in a store, you always ask for a bag
8. It may be fun to make your own at home, but rarely turns out as good as the professionally produced stuff
9. If you saw a woman buying either, you'd probably want to ask her out
10. Extra excitement can be added with the use of props and / or costumes
11. Low quality versions of both can be found for free on the Internet
12. Countless Usenet groups are dedicated to both
13. In either case, a gang of heavily-muscled men in leather with whips spells trouble
14. Everyone uses a silly, made-up name
15. It is not uncommon for participants to assume the opposite gender
16. Both are frowned upon by the conservative right
17. You usually take interest in both around age 13
18. New purchases are usually looked at once, then put on the shelf
19. The best and worst examples of each was produced in the '70s
20. The German versions of each are the most bizarre
21. Both are plagued with bad dialogue
22. You usually spend a lot more time enjoying each alone than with a group of friends
23. Everyone's called in to work sick at least once to stay home and enjoy one or the other
24. Both make excellent bathroom reading
25. There's always a big finish when you get to fire your gun
26. Hollywood's attempts to mainstream both have been largely unsuccessful
27. The hero's prized possession is his big, black gun
28. Plots are often present only to serve the action scenes
29. The story can be set anywhere from spaceships to dungeons
30. While the person directing the action is usually blamed for a bad experience, it's usually the fault of poor writing
31. Characters can have either high APPEARANCE or STAMINA, but rarely both
32. You can tell the climax is imminent when the characters start screaming
33. Candles and music enhance the mood
34. You can meet your favorite B-list stars at the annual convention
35. One word: Dwarves
36. Both can be planned events. >;-D
How long do you think it takes to reload a crossbow (those which don't need a winch)?
A couple of months ago, the players in my biweekly Dark Conspiracy game ran up against a puzzle that they had some problems with. Eventually, they found a way through the scenario — it was a little kludgey, but it was a perfectly workable solution, and they didn't have to shoot all the NPCs, hide the bodies, and run or anything. But afterwards, the player who seems to like the game most asked whether I was expecting them to do what they did, and I said, without really thinking about it, that I had been expecting something else entirely, and I made the mistake of telling him what that was.
And he got cross, and said that sometimes he thinks I think my players are all idiots, and that it's fun to watch them flail around. I was completely flabbergasted. Actually, I routinely feel intimidated by my player group — all male, all GMs, all with more GMing experience than me. (This is the first game I've run.)
But the more I think about it, the more I realize that this kind of thing seems to happen whenever my friends discuss games outside of the games, particularly when they talk about how a scenario could have gone, and especially when the GM admits to anything whatsoever — what s/he was thinking, what s/he was planning, which parts of a given game were programmed and which were improv, etc. It just seems like, too often, it spoils people's suspension of disbelief to be able to see the strings behind the game. Knowing a scene could have gone differently gets them thinking about what they did wrong instead of feeling triumph over what they actually accomplished. Knowing what the GM didn't plan for and had to scramble to deal with makes them respect the GM less for not seeing the "obvious" solution that they found.
I've basically stopped giving my players any out-of-game information about the game whatsoever. When they're still in post-game excitement mode, they talk about what happened or what could have happened or what they wish had happened — and I just listen and don't participate. Because I've come to the conclusion that it's a mistake for the GM to give the players anything that they don't have inside the game, lest the game get spoiled.
I'm curious about other people's experiences with this sort of thing. Do you discuss your games with your GMs? Do you end up feeling disappointed or cheated or frustrated when you do? How do you personally limit what you tell your players out of game about what they could have done differently, or what they missed, or what you'd planned for them that didn't happen?
Alright, so in this next campaign we're going to retire our characters that we've been playing with for 3 campaigns in a row. After this final one, they will have reached epic. So, we're starting over completely with new characters and at a low level. And since the setting is still the same, I've decided that my next character will be the daughter of my current character. You know, just to add a little flavor to her personality. And if that's not enough, My current character who is a gnome has mated with a true ogre, the results are nasty. So now the daughter is going to have to deal with her ugliness when all she wants is to fall in love. Ah...i can see the tears coming from a mile away. Especially with the group i play with. They're heartless bastards.
i'm running a game with a feudal society but data on feudal society that's available online is conflicting and complex and i don't need to be all that accurate so i set up a simplified noble ranking here:
noble ranks -
king/queen - kingdom
prince/princess - principality
duke/duchess - duchy
baron/baroness - barony
the church will be important too, so i set up church ranks similar to those of the RC church here:
church ranks -
bishop of *capitol city name here* (pope basically)
i'd like to set up paladin ranks that have a military/religious sound to them but i'm drawing a blank and suggestions for titles would be welcome. the highest ranking paladin would be equal in rank to a cardinal, there is no "pope of paladins", and i think i want the lowest rank of paladin to be deacon as it is for the clergy.
ok... normally this wouldn't be a problem.... except this particular character is sort of a unique class....
he's a Beastrider Shaman.....
ok, the shaman part is more or less self explainatory...
the Beastrider part...well....he started off with a special mount which he had a telepathic link to....the animal had a starting Int of 8...and they "talked" through this link... they treated each other like brothers...which is what they called each other...the mount was cohort, familiar, companion...as well as being his ride....
as for the Shaman thing, I dunno if there is any source available which might have a similar class....he used both arcane and divine magic, kind of like the Mystic Theurge PrC....and had decent fighting stats...
if there is a class similar to either one, Beastrider or Shaman, let me know...for both....if not i may need help creating the class(es)
let's start by sayin that, if i have to create both, i've already thought of makin the Beastrider a PrC ....as for the Shaman, i'm already lookin through the spell lists to start layin out appropriate spells for the Shaman class....but help would be GREAT