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Saturday, December 28th, 2002
4:36p - It's story time...
Once again, but this one is just too... gaah! I don't even know what this one counts as. But as always, feel free to share similar stories of ineptness.

D&D game. The story is your standard apocalypse. Forces of evil outnumber us and outpower us, we have few allies, yadda-yadda. Get to the remnants of town of old allies. Not much left, half loaf of bread per family, been under constant siege. I talk our way in, promising the evil character in our group won't kill anyone.

Cue the cleric. He hears a man being beaten and goes to investigate. Finds a drow being whipped in the basement of a ramshackle home.

Cleric: Why are you whipping him?
Human: He's my property, I'll do what I want!
Cleric: He's your slave? How much did you pay?
Human: 10,000 gold!
Cleric: *opens bag, takes out gems* Here, 30,000, he's mine now.
Human: *muttering and going upstairs* Fine. Gather him up and get him off my property.
Cleric casts a heal spell, setting off a contingency fire spell, the building is now on fire and the drow is healthy.
Drow: Thank you. I'm off to kill him now and then I'll leave.
Cleric: You can't I bought you.
Drow: How lovely. Off to kill him, thank you. *walks upstairs*
Cleric: I cast earthquake.
*entire party cringes but keeps their mouths shut*
DM: Okay, the house has collapsed on you.

We dig him out. He's fine. The drow is injured. The human is dead.

Guards: What happened?
Cleric: *pointing to drow* He cast a spell...
*party groans again*

All in all, 70 people died. The city found out, the drow left with all their food and supplies, and the allies I was cultivating (they had several portals) kicked us out of the city.

The cleric freely admitted what he'd done when I asked, but repentance seemed lacking. His excuse?

"I didn't know earthquake was area effect!"

Needless to say, Morden has put his powers in the Time-Out Corner.

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