December 19th, 2002

Green Daffy


LOL Maybe it's just me but I tend to be plagued with being in alot of D&D games where a character will keep saying dude. So I toy with them a little bit. For example, I'll be playing a nerdy wizard...

ME: Perhaps we should scale the wall
Player: Dude, it's just not possible.
Me: What?
Player: I said it's just not possible.
Me: No, before said a strange word I've never heard before.
Player: What word.
Me: (dramatically) "Dude"
Player: (Player blushes OOC)
ME: Is this one of those random slang words that you picked up through your travels, friend, or is it a new word you've invented yourself...for my name is Donovan and does not sound remotely like "dude".

Questioning the obvious?

Ever had a player question one of the fundamental tenets of gaming? Not, you know, "never trust drow". I'm talking about, like... 'never fight the little old unarmed smiling man', or 'torches are always lit'. And then they ask why, and the DM BS's an answer, and then the player expands.

Like this amusing little anecdote, which will probably be quoted incorrectly (it was a while ago), but was damn funny all the same. It has been attributed to my fellow gamer Nick.

D&D game, and we're heading into (what else?) a dungeon/maze thing. We're walking in and our DM describes the terrain, which is mostly stone/dirt tunnels, lined with burning torches.
Nick: Why is that?
DM: Why is what?
Nick: Why is it that whenever a party walks into a dungeon, the torches are still burning perfectly? I mean, shouldn't they have burnt down by now, or is there, like, some guy wandering around fixing torches?
DM: *to get on with it* It's, um, magic. Yes.
Nick: Oh. ... [intones] There was once an exalted sorcerer who cast a spell in all dungeons to have torches burn eternally! His name has been forgotten, but his legacy lives on!!