Sho (shoindiematrix) wrote in roleplayers,

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A Gnome & 3 Humans

So I was inspired by some of the posts about strange and funny happenings that have gone on in games, so I thought I'd share mine. Be forewarned, children. Some adult language. Anyways...

I was playing in a D&D 3.5 game, set on this island that was largely swamps. None of the characters knew each other, in the least. I've decided that is the worst thing I ever want to hear from my DM. But, to move along, my character's entrance involved spying on a camp of lizardmen who were creating living zombies. Although the little forest gnome was quiet, he got noticed (stepped on a twig or something) and had to book it. One of the veteran player's character is wandering through the same wooded area and sees a little gnome, carrying a small armory worth of weapons, go by followed by several angry lizardmen. Eventually the gnome binder makes it into town with the human ranger.

Later, the ranger and the binder (think neutrally possessed) are joined by a paladin. In their attempts to hide from a large snake and a panther, the binder runs into a yuanti snakeman. Ick. Little bitty gnome cracks the thing's sword in half and is merely singed by a point-blank fireball. Needless to say, the paladin meandered over just in time to see that last part. Jaw dropping.

Later, the gnome (Maelo) was caught by a creeper and yelled "It's gonna eat me!" We had another incident where the characters dealt with Maelo's lovely binding. One of the players' sister joined us and played a wizard. Maelo was sad and needless to say, said wizard thought it would be a good idea to open up her bag of tricks and pull out a weasel. I announce that Maelo's going to turn on an area effect of sadness because he wants to be left alone.

Me: I'm turning on Aura of Despair.
DM & Other Players: You're what?
Me: *sigh* I'm making the weasel sad.
Veteran Player Adam: Be careful. Weasels spray.

Earlier in the campaign, we had run into a huge war troll who had nearly made the paladin into a ground mash. We encountered him again, in an area where an important dignitary was being held against her will. So, a second, higher ranking paladin decided to make a diversion and cause the troll and his cohorts to follow her away, in hopes that we would have a clean escape with the woman. Well, that didn't work. The wizard decided she was going to zap the troll on its way out of the area. Didn't do anything and the tiny little gnome stepped out from behind a bush and shocked him with a nice sized lightning bolt. Once the rest of the characters realized Maelo was the only one who could hurt the troll, everyone else became a meatshield. Skipping ahead...

Paladin's Player: You know, there must be a hole in the armor.
Ranger's Player: What about his ass? We could have Maelo climb up and blast him there. Would he do extra damage.
DM: Only one way to find out. [My name]?
Me, in far too enthusiastic voice: I'm going up his ass!

Then there was the end. The group had found our way into the largest pyramid on the island and had managed to get past the underbelly and into simple caves below. Our ranger did some recon and found out there was a large cavern, filled with hundreds of orcs, kobolds, and lizardmen. Not fun! There was also the Big Baddie as well as our heroine/Big Ol' Powerful Goodie. We were told to save the Goodie and kill the Baddie (sounds fairly simple). The only thing we knew was in our favor were two large obelisks made of a highly explosive rock. We had our lovely wizard with us still.

So, the DM left us alone to come up with a plan. 10 minutes to decide a plan. We managed to use the talents of the whole group, and when the DM asked our plan, we had 4 words for him: Flying Flaming Bear Bomb!

We soon explained we were going to summon a bear, strap a backpack on it, filled with all the explosive rock we had collected through our travels, along with alchemist's fire. We then were going to make it invisible and have it charge through the hoard of creatures in its way. We then were going to have the wizard make her and Maelo invisible and fly them both near the obelisks. When the bear got near enough, Maelo was going to breath a gout of fire and ignite the obelisks and the bear. Thus, Flying Flaming Bear Bomb from the Flaming Gnome.

Sure enough, our plan did work, but it collapsed the whole ceiling of that portion of the cavern, trapping and killing all of the hoard and NEARLY taking out the wizard and the gnome. Safe to say, that was the end of the humorous moments for that game.

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