Thoughts of a nerdy feminist (idemandjustice) wrote in roleplayers,
Thoughts of a nerdy feminist

Leaky Brain Pan

If you don't know the game but have watched Firefly, you may still be able to make sense of this stuff.

So, my friends and I play a lot of games. One of them is a Serenity game. We have a vaguely typical sorta crew of criminal-types. My character WAS inadvertently a female equivalent of Jayne (I didn't do it on purpose). Meaning I'm a greedy mercenary who loves my guns, basically. One of the characters has a LOT of trouble with the Alliance, and I wound up getting into trouble too by trying to help him out. And I mean, I got into a lot of trouble. The sort of trouble that involves men in blue gloves, and stuff I can't quite remember. It sorta came to a head when we tried to rescue somebody from a corporate building, it failed, and I got knocked unconscious along with one other character.

The GM asked us at that point if we would like to continue with our characters, or create new ones. I love having these things develop with characters. I quite enthusiastically said I'd like to continue with my character if that is still an option. So, I now have the Major complication of 'Leaky Brain Pan'. Oh, and we're now Readers but don't really know how to deal with that yet.

I'm just finding myself more stumped on how to play out that Leaky Brain Pan than I'd at first considered. The description in the book is incredibly vague. It mentions I might rub soup in my hair or stab people. (Both of which are straight from the Firefly series.) Frankly, the soup thing seems dumb to me. I don't think insanity should be completely random... it should at least make sense somewhere in the psychology of the character. For example, me and the other player have decided our characters now hate blue. But that's because of the men in blue gloves. I've also turned off my tact filter and am not being careful about speaking my mind. And I have a masochistic streak, partly because it's a way to bring the angst to a physical, tangible sense (but I'm not allowed to have my guns or sharp objects), and partly because it gets my character attention by way of people taking care of her, because, well, people dote on the other guy but not my character so much. Gods, that's not as Mary Suish as it sounds, I swear. The angst is very heavy all-around, and while I don't want to overwhelm with it, I also don't want to turn it over to the realm of silly, because silly is the reason I absofuckinglutely LOATHE Malkavians.

I'm trying to figure out a good balance, and am curious if anybody has any ideas. I want to be realistic here.

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