The situation is this: We (the co-mod and Modman himself) have a very active, GJ-based RPG. The player in question has always been among the most scarce, but since summer she's become even more scarce (due to a massive RL event), to the point that we're coming up on two months without hearing from her. We've tried every e-mail address, kept her screen-name on our buddylists, left comments in her LJ, Private Messaged her on the GJ system, and basically exhausted every means of communication.
We feel awful about kicking her out without being able to tell her up front about it, but she plays a fairly major character who can't remain cardboarded offscreen for very much longer. We're edging towards deciding she's out if we don't hear from her by the end of the month. Her characters are such that one does really need to be adopted right away, but the other can be NPC'd in case she wants to come back with just the one character.
What would you guys do in this situation? Those of you who have occasion to do so: how do you feel about putting on the Mod-hat and making not-so-fun decisions?